- xiaolex* i really wanna be with you

Monday, July 31, 2006

mood: lonely
song: none

i finally know the answet to the question i've been seeking. i guess its better off this way. =) though i'm kinda sad its not said frm you but i'm somehow glad that i got to know it.

will be feeling much better after some days i guess. i wanna try this time. since its made so clear its kinda impossible. oh well. blame on lex. he doesnt have wad it takes. but somehow this made me stronger. it makes me realise when you wanna love someone so much, there are things way beyond ur imagination. lex will stay strong. he will...

if you can get to be with that guy on ur mind, lex will surely wish you the best de. =) its your life. its your decisions that you make. none can change you but can only give words to you. deep down i really hope this aint true. budden reality is always more real den imagination.

i'm so troubled recently that i really yearn for that 1 month + holi break. i wan my bday to pass soon so i can reach happy 18 too. oh well. lex wishing for too much again. hahas.. i tink i will put some hidden words inside this blog to remind me of wad i've learned. only clever people may be able to read it. lols. it wont be shown to the whole world budden once again. i so hope to tell someone all abt this that i have only my blogger to turn to. thanks bloggie. you rock ma sock.

thats all folks. and joy, please take care of your body. if i know u nv go see doc i'll bloody hunt you down at your doorstep and drag you there. yes! piggyback if i must! ><

oyasumi! but before i do, i'll write the things first. enjoy... if you can. =P nights.

deep down, i really wanna breakdown, no one understands, no one really cares. its for me to stand up on my feet and face my life once again. with strength and perserverence. a mask, all along..
[PS: this are not the hidden words]

anata ga watashi no taisetsunahito desu yo. a promise, of a lifetime

See it ~~thru~~ ma eyes.. 3:40 AM
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Sunday, July 30, 2006

mood/thoughts: realised
song: last in blue - mell

god damm! i'm so in love with this song la! i'm going to make it both my blog and friendster song! i dun care! xD wahahas! will update the song later. =)

anyway. today nth much. oh well. i guess its kinda over. i can just feel it lahs. but oh well. hope i can recover fast enuff. damm. in the arcade nowadays. i wonder wads the trend of ppl asking ma no. and act shou2 with me. zzzz. but today was kinda fun la i got to say. lols! right joanne? *winks* xD

seldom really play much on dmgf for sp nowadays. only play when in mood. i somehow or rather played ddr till i'm so shagged now la! i want to FC sobakasu! =x i want to pass the dunno wad ming one. wonder why cant i remember the song name. xD i wan to post my ddr achievements! xD i cant believe i can suddenly play so many heavy songs now. =x LOLS! =P

i'm not going to think much anymore. as i said. if that someone have even a little feelings for me, the person would have shown it since its so obvious now. but oh well. kana ignored the whole day le. dunno wads wrong. i tink its me bahs. ><

na na~ and yes. i wonder why am i thinking of the wad would i be doing if i'm in love now. lols! lulu~ but deep down. i'm sad lahs. bohahahas! i will recover. watched some guilty gear vids this few days. this is the 2 i really like alot de. =) enjoy by clicking

here
and
here

its too wtf to be true. *argh. get off my mind. its making my emotions coming out!*

lulu~ and i'm off. here are my ddr achievments. just whether passed or failed. i'm talking abt heavy. =) no tanked by anyone

- look at us
- the whistle song
- sobakasu
- candy
- dunno wad janeiro de
- witch doctor
- my sweet darling
- B4U

standard:

- afranova
- break down
- end of century?
- somemore la forget le. >< i need to improve. ><

and this are the char i have used to win ino on guilty gear XX. =)

- sol
- axl (once)
- eddie (once)
- bridget
- faust
- baiken
- anji-moto
- slayer
- potemkin
- chipp (once)

wohoo! off ta bed after i upload my new songs. ja ne~

Last in Blue - Mell
Ikusen no tsumi mo yurushite kita
Ikuoku no ai no namida wo kakae nagara
Kaigara ga katari dasu kanashii uta wo kiki
Tadareta mune no uchi wa yuunagi ga someta

Purachina no nami hikiyoseta hito
Anata wa iu furachina ningyo da to sou yo

DEEP IN SIDE umi no you ni daite arashi ni natte
Namiutsu mune wo awasete yure nagara
YES IT TRUE michi afureta toiki iwa hada no youna
Senaka ni haritsuita shizuku ni naru

Ato hitonami de subete kowareru
Anata demo tabun watashi wo ubaenai

Kanashii hodo utsukushii yori
Oroka demo hanaretakunai to itta

DEEP IN SIDE hajimete no kotoba ni ai ga koboreta
Minamo (suimen) ni sazukaru hikari aoku chirabatta
Fune wo tsutsumikonde iwa hada no youna
Senaka ni tsuita kizuna sotto naderu

Tsuki ga wareta taiyou ga moetsuki
Hoshi mo mienai mirai ni natta toshitemo
... FOREVER
DEEP IN SIDE watashi wa tadayou anata wo daite
Chiisana kaigara wo hitotsu motte

See it ~~thru~~ ma eyes.. 2:12 AM
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Saturday, July 29, 2006

mood: hais...
song: Last in blue - Mell

nrh much today bahs. hand in dbsy only. newsreporter came down to dbg to some interview and take pictures. SHANT RANT ANYMORE! =)

forget it lex. if she have even a liking for you a little, she would have shown it long ago already. its me hu is the one liking her anyway. ><

i just so love the times we chatted so nice on msn. about our past love. on the phone. that cute voice i listen. that ear blasting shout. those huh and hahaha that came out. it makes it feel so nice. i guess it will only happen once in a blue moon.

tell me, how to get closer
tell me, how to open your heart
tell me, wad must i do
tell me, how you feel
tell me, do i stand at least a 1% chance
tell me, if those memories count

i wanna noe
i wanna care
i wanna love
because its you
i'm referring

i'm missing you badly now. wonder if you noe. hais. do i stand at least that 1%? i hope i'll noe soon.

as quoted from virus blog. once in a while its good to think abt when ya in love when ya single for so long. just picturing me and her

walking down the streets. wad will be doing.
in the cinema. will the hug or hand holding keep me warm.
when shopping. will be buy something that is couple?
when its our birthday, wad surprises will we get
when chilling, wad will we be talking.
etc etc..

so much to think yet it seems lyk a forever dream to be with you in real life. i guess just one day you'll see the sincerity and importance bahs~

ja ne le... missing you so badly now la! >< ya sick so take care alright. misses. hee.

to ruby meii: meii wad happened. why you suddenly ask wo tt question. its not kor dowan you lahs. but both are important. why would i abadon you ne? no way. >< u brought laughter to my face before, thats something i'll nv throw away k! stay happy and if you feel lyk it, tell me. kor is here. <3

its hard holding you, losing you

See it ~~thru~~ ma eyes.. 2:47 AM
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Thursday, July 27, 2006

mood: xiang nian zhe ren
song: Pretty Women - Hindijoy.com

as u can see. the song i listening. crap. i stole it frm my grp mate mp3 when he was in the toilet. was interested wad song they listen and tada. pretty women hindi version. zzz. anyone who wants the lyrics and hear the song can take it from here. 7 days from now no more le or 100 d/ls. so if you want make it fast. or you can ask me online if u missed it. ><

ok. other than the usual quarrelling of SP stuff and the quadraple KO thing, nth much for me to say. i need to finish my DBSY project by this fri and others by next week. tough month this is. and knnth reminded its 1 month to the exams. damm. cant wait for holidays. yeah. nth much. today nv really chat much with her. kinda missed yesterday. >< lols. oh well..

she's going out today, and ton on fri.. means wont be seeing her online le. HAIS.. and i tink ruby meii still angry with me. T.T oh well..

nth much left to say. just that before she offline today she said, my heart suddenly very pain. dunno y. wonder wad happened. she oso nv reply my sms le. oh well. good things doesnt last long i tink..

crap la. why am i thinking all these things now! lex! *slaps myself* come on wake up please! ><

inner self: cannot la! she keep appearing lehs! ><

self note: you may love her so much but it doesnt mean she will too! i better dun get my hopes high.

but on a higher note, asked her whether wan watch the lake house not. she nv dao tt question! =x fan er said someone asked her before me le.. promise le. >< oh well. i hope there's next time. really hope to meet up sia. >< dunno y too. >< i just feel lyk saying everything out here. but dunno should i not. maybe i'll just rant on my secret ranting blog. =P yeah i shld. look out for lex love venting updates there.

ok tired. nights guys. 2 days without seeing her online will be bad. hais.. she seldom reply sms der. wonder wad i can do. T.T ***, wo zhen de miss ni nahs! tell me wad happened alright? lex is really worried why you say those things. T.T ok. blogging on secret blog now. where can be located by clicking here. enjoy. oops. i mean, enjoy if u tink u are. ARGH! ***! why cant i juz say here. T.T

ciao~

See it ~~thru~~ ma eyes.. 2:33 AM
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Wednesday, July 26, 2006

mood: JOYious. =)
song: Beautiful Love - 蔡健雅

first thing off.. to joy... ***** ********! LOLS! you guys may not get what it means but.. lols! its our own secret. shhhhhhh... xD

real happy today despite the usual quarrels around the dbg gang. zzz but really, she made my day. =) really. though i noe to her its just lyk any normal other days. but to me. its special. who says you'll be suay on the first day of the ghost month?

i really hope for a miracle. just you and me. i'm serious. zhen de zhi you ni. was really shocked and stunned when she called me to talk on the phone. i asked her if want to talk at nite but nv reply. den at nite, surprising i saw her name appearing on my phone. i know i'm thinking too much. to her it maybe impossible, just friends. but to me, thats enuff to make me smile for a draggy wednesday. ^^ feeling really joyious. hee..

helped her create a new blog skin. had much trouble as her expectation very high. hor? lols! but still got it done in the end with a slight problem of the no-right-clicking javascript not working. oh well. nice talking to her over the phone while she was right in front of her comp. hahas. tts how stupid we were. =P been quite some time since i last heard her voice too. lols. i seems despo am i? =x woops.

aiya. dun say le. final thing. GIRL, YOU made my day. =) <3 you to bits and pieces. i'm still holding to the the hopes. i believe someday its possible. once you agreed on yeah.. =)

oh some stupid answers my grp mate gave for the french project report. how brainless can this get. zzz.. d/l by clicking here. first come first serve basis. 7 days starting from today or 100 d/ls. enjoy the stupidity of my bangla grp mate in french.. zzz. red is the question, black is the answer. -_-"

nights. i'll smile in my dreams tonight i think. *drifting offfffffffff* hahahas!

even if we're only friends, being able to chat with you is just like i'm in love..

See it ~~thru~~ ma eyes.. 1:24 AM
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Tuesday, July 25, 2006

mood: missing someone
song: 見つめていたい - flow wars

ok. i hope the person who you know who you are reads this post. the one i called bastard the other time. steven that is. this part of the post is for you. so hope you read. thanks for your time.

first thing off:
- an apology to you, yes mr.steven for accusing you on my older post if you read it. after listenings to ray's side of story and recent evidence, it seems you've proven yourself wrong. why?

- you did not break out with your gf. which i heard tt time u did cos u lyked someone else.
- you did not touch that "zzz" on those blah blah dates = proven you innocent of being that horny guy.

so this are my apology to you on the part that i believe ray's story. and now it seems lyk the truth is out, i shall apologised for the wrong concept of thinking.

HOWEVER..
some things to clarify:
- if you've tried to clear the misunderstanding of your gf things, none of the i-break-with-my-ex-cos-i-like-another-girl will happen
- admit it. your lust and hornyness landed you in such a state now. no one to blame.
- while you have a gf, you still asked her for sex. thats something still is a bastard act. i hope you've changed

YET..
2 thing to applaude:
- your honesty to ray when needed with the 95% true chat logs (i wonder why isnt 100% -_-")
- your courage to stand out and admit things that you've done unlike some other peeps who still tries to deny everything.

THEREFORE..
- lets stop the cold war. i see no need anymore. i xin shang ppl hu dare to do dare to admit. though it took you some time to clear the matter, you still did it anymore. i will not give the 'bastard' look to you when i see you anymore, neither do i hope that you will show attitude. if you still do, too bad. i can still do the same. i just see no need for such nonsense anymore.

------------------------------------------------------------
ok thats for steven's side.. now to the girl labelled as despo by the general public in dbg..

great job! subarashi desu yo! you two did well to fool everyone including me. though right from the start i knew something was wrong. come on. how can you fool a scorpio that easily? your skills aint as good as mine scorpio girl.

A LUSTFUL LEOPARD WILL NEVER CHANGE ITS SPOT. mark these words girl. game over for ray huh? let me see how long you two can last. trust me. lyk ray says, it will be a sure at least be a DOUBLE KO. slut arnd all you like. someday you'll end up being shun by everyone. try to fool me the first few times we talk? i'm innocent. i dun do those things? kiss my arse. that was the time i had a bad impression of you already. as i said. want to lie, not to me. it aint easy trying to cover up wad you said to me.

i cant belive you still have friends with you. either they want your body for their sexual needs, if not, they are juz plain stamped on the eye. yeah. crude words huh? thats the impression you gave to us all now. i gave a bad impression of myself to you huh? thats what you tell ray rite? let me shoot you back. i give u 1, you gave yourself 100 times more.
------------------------------------------------------------

to the guy who is also labelled as despo by the general public in dbg..
haven you learnt from your past lessons yet? i may not know much but from what i hear, your acts in the past is almost unforgivable. you're lucky most of the peeps gave you. now you're back again? aim me in DBG from now me. xia lan me. i dun care. you maybe be a fucking 7 years older, pai kia in the past or wadeva shit you can give i still dun care. dare to do dare to admit. army tot u wad? even i nv go army i oso noe this basic rule for being a man.

yeah. to say it truthfully. indeed that despo girl has better look than your cleve ex. better figure. that i will argee. but please. you're just another hentai guy who lust. in terms of character, your clever ex is 1000000000000 times way better than her. yeah. go for looks. go for lust. i'll see how long you'll last. (hey it rhymes!) get a life man. even i can tink better than you. indeed i do like hot and sexy girls. but i wont lust till i will go for every one of them. i'll find someone i really like (looks and figures are 2nd).

another word to say. despo. dun say "your problem?" to me please. its everyone's problem that their 'fren' is in this kinda shit. so wad if you can play games well? it wont find u a nice wife and spend your ageing years with you. get a life. really that despo, go geylang. dun hurt the youth of girls. tmd.
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this aside, i'm not going to care anymore. matter cleared up by ray. its over and done with. and steven, i hope ya reading and you will not repeat the same mistake. you may have the moves and to some looks. but being a two timer is indeed very x100 fucking bad. i need not have those friendship lyk me and the other peeps between you and me. i just want to clear things up that me and you. no more gua ge. i apologised on the parts i went wrong. up to you to decide anyway. i enjoy my games. i dun really care. even if you dowan agree, wan tio me. i oso can play along. my powers arent shown yet only. enjoy your stay. anything to say. please tag. i want hear frm you. thanks.

finished. i'm fucking stressed by school too. and here's a nice pic. guys, beware of this mail pls. other than that, nights guys. oh ya. last note.

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to charlene: if you really meant to clear things up, my advice to you. your words aint showing any signs of it. this quarrel is unnecessary. and i yue see yue dulan. quarrelling over such small things. juz say its hu to them can already. but seriously. ask any soul and they'll think lyk me and knnth and suet. cos its really hard to belive. final advice: better to make friends than enemies. you may have the dbg gang behind you now more than knnth. but please, no point making things worse. in the first place, abt 'that' incident. i cant see how right you are. you're lucky you're the girl. i'm not shooting you or siding knnth. i'm juz stating the fact that is playing in real life. ask someone close. your joejoe or hu. for truthful comments. your sp comments is.. you noe urself.
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nights peeps. here's the pic that i wanted to show. -_-" oya~ long post today again..

virus its all ur fault la! see! =x LOLS!

See it ~~thru~~ ma eyes.. 2:24 AM
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Monday, July 24, 2006

mood: crazy
song: none

really nth to blog. hmm. yest was the 'tan pan' for the xxx-xxx-xxx-xxx case. was supposed to be though. but saw nth of it. oh well. as long as my friends there seems alright.

damm i heard the things. saw the things and i tink its way so stupid. i cant believe tt someone lied to me the past about innocence and stuff. i shld have known. you made lotsa peeps dun trust you. no one else to blame. you can whine abt how the world turned to see you and judge you by that but ask yourself first. who is to blame? not us but your actions.

i dun feel lyk saying anymore now. i've no right to comment to them but what i feel is. its is worth it to give up your current love because you believe you found someone more better in looks and figure and can satisfy ur sexual needs?

ya old. older than me by a fucking lucky no. but still you make mistakes just lyk how i heard you did in the past. hais... to ur partner den, i'm glad you've made the right choice though. sercurity of a aint gain by the size. its gain by the character. no matter if you have a bouncer's size, its still gained by trust and character.

ok i shant say more. CMSK3 later, french project consultation 2 tml, DBSY project hand in on fri. tough week. tatas peeps~

love for who they are..

See it ~~thru~~ ma eyes.. 1:28 PM
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Sunday, July 23, 2006

mood: lulu~
song: Hate Me Now (Remix) - Nas, Eminem, DMX, Tupac

seriously. i have nth good to blog recently. juz changed my blog and friendster song. cos i tink the songs rock. lols! anyway before i sleep, just come to blog somethings out i tink. hahas. my fren asked me. define love. seriously, i told her from my point of view. and then i tink back. my first true love i found. it was the same as what i said. ok i'm making no sense. =x

lols. hmm. my eyes feel heavy. today i mean frm now la. 02.36am is my mama bday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY! *hugs and kisses* she's been a great mum for 18 to me. been there for me always. though i kinda cannot stand her super nags, she cares for me still. love you mum! ^^

lulu~ i feel stupid too. wahahas! i'm mad! i know i had something to blog abt. but i suddenly forget. >< oh ya! how far can love take one person to? is loving someone means to forgive (not forget) the things he/she done? even if the bad thing is betrayal in love with you? if one can really forgive, is that true love? hais. sometimes i really wonder. currently, i suddenly feel lyk settling down. but somehow, miss sunshine/princess/cutie/sweetie or wadsoeva aint appearing! >< where are you! my kind of girls! appear and let me noe u lehs! hahas! or someone make me lyk u lehs. wahahas!

i feel stupid saying all these. hahas. juz ignore those. xD i'm juz on venting spree. =P oh well. nights guys. my eyelids aint supporting anymore. darkness~

love is not blind, it makes you blind

See it ~~thru~~ ma eyes.. 2:39 AM
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Saturday, July 22, 2006

mood: searching
song: Crazy For You - Pizza Girl

ok. today i'm covering the hottest topic amoung the DMGF community. yes SP. *i feel suicidal writing the post. any wrong word may lead to misunderstand =x*

anyway, die or dun die, hate me or dun hate me after this post is up to you. so here goes. long post it will be so take care. i'm speaking in an UN-BIAS position now.

recently there's this ego thing on SP. to me, yes. having a much more ego is indeed seen as hao lian (proud). to me, getting a high score and stuff is worth talking and telling ur peers abt. its lyk a form of happinese you wanna share. however, telling it by ringing it to their minds every time you see them is indeed seen as irritating. once in a while bringing it up its alright. having big egos is different from happy of your achievement that is.

ok next. SP on DM/GF. come on. lets face it. in the past, DM/GF doesnt have SP sucha things. every one plays cos the song is nice or just want to S it. no one den taught of playing certain songs to do anything. we just play. simple. but as e amuse is introduced, thus SP. i believe there are 2 types of grp now. play for the song, play for the SP. indeed. many pioneers now play for the song, the right technique and everything. SP to them is secondary. that i respect. there is another group who play DM cos of DM. SP is introduced by konami to make the game more exciting. like competiting and stuff.

however, as our levels are kinda low compared to the japanese side, competition nowadays are seen as redundant. we judge by wad we see. "SP does not judge a person's standard". sorry guys. this sentence is wrong. it should be "SP does not judge a person's technique".

lets say. both people have 1k sp. it is right to say they are of the same standard. there are bound to have songs he cant play, i cant play or wadsoeva. in the end, they made it to 1k. same standard. HOWEVER, one may play the game with technique to get to 1k. some may zua lyk mad dogs to get to 1k. thats the difference in the SP. yes. technique is important. in a sense of a musician mind. even i do tink technique good = higher ur sp is. however, i see no wrong in people having bad techniques but zua-ing for sp. they choose to play the game this way. its none of our taiji really. konami did not create DM/GF so that people can learn the correct technique. it was created as a simulation. techniques and otherwise are up to individuals to learn and adopt. i'm kinda sad the community is talking day and night abt this. as long as its not pad spoiler, i dun see the need to argue abt right technique to every single person who touches the set. be it pioneers, regulars or newcomers. each choose their way to play in the end. wad we can do is just remind that having bad techniques can lead to injuries in the future. not condemming those people and saying how hopeless they are. they choose it, we did our part to warn its up to them.

next. achievements. i'm kinda hot-headed over a recent thing that happened. lets face reality again. when u did something you think you did best in it, you will tend to record it down and take note. giving comments and stuff. but that does not mean anything does it? i'm kinda sad that having good scores on a song can affect other people. jealousy? or juz following the big grp? maxing a song isn't a crime. saying u max a song isnt an egoistic expression. repeating it, yes. but hey, lyk the sp list. even the best japanese with nice techniques do put they max it. why are we making a fuss over here? i'm so disappointed in some acts and stuff. indeed how often can u max a song? we shld be happy for the person hu did something we wont always see. for example. lets say i caught 1k combo on l100s ext. shoulda my frens arnd be happy for me that i caught it? how come it turned out to be when u happily say u did that it became an ego? i really dun understand.

guys, lets play this game as an individual. what we want as our comment, how we play the game, how we look the game in different perspective is up to the individual. we should not 'dislike' the other party because he/she tinks different from you. i myself thinks technique is important. but playing for SP is still fun and i love it. the majority of the regular now thinks SP is shit and stuff. nth but a number. indeed its just a number. but to get that number is something you achieved. just like gun games. you dun just aim for winning the game. you aim for highscores do you not? stop saying SP is blah blah. its juz ruining the relationship of everyone. even the regulars. play for the song, play for the game (SP), play for learning, play for anything. in the end, ITS NOT WORTH IT TO ARGUE AND AFFECT THE FRIENDSHIP OVER THIS KINDA THINGS. respect everyone's choice i hope.

i'm not mentioning names but there's this particular thing i want to say. please have a mind of your own. it doesnt mean the whole herd of goats is going to the other side to eat grass and ya scared to be alone, you join them too. its just way too contridicting. before you hit your target, you said that play SP no wrong, blah blah. i wan zua till my target! but once you hit the target and the community perspective change, you turned over and said, why play for it and stuff? v3 will be out soon. if you tink SP is nth and stuff, i dun wanna see you zua till ur target again. yes. it may be easy for you to get to your target de. but since you dun lyk the whole idea of SP, i shall see.

to bryant: erh the this thing may sound lyk i'm saying you but rest assured its not. =) i seen you try to improve songs you really cannot do. but somehow, the person juz changed over too fast. ><

oh well. some ppl may feel different from my opinion. some ppl may put me into the so called 'outcast' side. different scenarios. i'm speaking from my mind and i have nth to fear. ^^ if anyone got comments, feel free to tag. or if yours is long. send me a document of smth. >< lols!

i'm still kinda pissed till now since juz now at dbg over some incident which i dowan say. sigh. the community breaking up everyday. not by external but internal factors. oh well. 10am in school tml to do proj. guess i gotta sleep now. nights peeps. and think over my points bah. i really wan a community with respect of each other's play style and perspective of the game. oya~

ps: the last post, i heard the side of story. and i agree i may jump to conclusion too fast. i shall observe more. however there are still some points where its hard to believe. it juz so happened and we knew it. whether its true or not, u are the one who decides it. i just dowan to see another relationship break up because of lust or wad so ever. tata~

See it ~~thru~~ ma eyes.. 1:38 AM
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Friday, July 21, 2006

mood: pissed, angry, wadeva. emo.
song: none

a leopard never changes its spot. and i thought you have changed. in the end, ya just another idiot who cannot keep your promises. i tot in the near future we can talk once again but u fucking proved me wrong. hug all u like. slut all u like. your officially stamped in my BLACKLIST.

and to the other party. damm. ya attached. why are you doing this? or its just me being lag that you've broken up? if ya did, den sorry, i have no right to say you. but isnt it too fast to find another girl already? please dun repeat the stories i heard about you. it aint good.

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ok enuff of that. yes. everyone hate being alone. even me. how i want to be in love. how i want to hug and yes, kiss a girl passionately so much. but hey, at least i can control myself by not being so despo. the most i'll look at girls who know how to dress. but i dun go and flirt with any of them. i dun 'jump boat'. at least not once the girl rejects or smth. get a life.

failing to get a girl doesnt mean you NEED to get another one immediately. seriously, i dun like the attitude of urs of looking for girls. in 1 month or so u like 2 girls and those 2 rejected you? now u go find someone you dun even noe.. zzzzzzzzz... come on. if you want love, get it the proper way at least. love her, jio her. can or cannot be with her, at least show some sincerity that you are true dammit.

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and to the fucker who hacked my friendster acc by sending msges and deleting ppl.. it aint funny ok. everyone has frenz whom they treasure. deleting them or sending them fucked up msges and causing misunderstanding btw us is fucking bastard thing to do. do get a life also.

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damm. i feel so pissed right now again. and nth seems to be going right now. no nth for me. my wishlist aint completed at least 95%. i wan a change of lifestyle. i need someone to take my mind off all these things. blow my mind away everyday, every second.. where are you? my princess?!

people aint replying when i talk to them. yeah yeah. forget it. i shall stay quiet in conversation. big deal? i feel pissed to the core. even my meii thinks i deleted her on purpose. tmd. wanted to vent so much that no one even bother to listen to what i have to say. yeah yeah. lead your own lives. nth to do with me anymore. need me, call me. dun need me, stay away lehs.. right. nice attitude.

at least drew bothered to reply and helped me a little when i asked for a song. thanks drew. for somehow ya the only one who listens. zzzzzz..

_|_ed up day, _|_ed up life, _|_ed up love. everything just aint right at the moment. maybe god wanted it this way. screaming till my voice went hoarse yet no one truely cares. fuckshit. lucky i found one old video which brings back the memories when the 2D gang hang out. its super duper nan ting. but oh well, at least i remembered i once had true friends. currently? nahs. everyone uses me lyk a pawn for themselves. i hate being myself at times.

watch the super duper nan ting de us singing our primary school song, recital, national anthem, dayong sapan, blah blah..

feeling _|_ed up now aye?

fucked up person who needs love and attention now.. but please dun bite me now, or you shall be with her in my fucking BLACKLIST. *$*(#@@$%&*($#@*(#

See it ~~thru~~ ma eyes.. 2:10 AM
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Thursday, July 20, 2006

mood: natural
song: sexy, naughty, bitchy - Tata Young

today there is nth up. juz feeling tired the whole day round. i wonder what is round with me. and i failed my fucking SWEN. T.T by 2 marks. disappointed. oh well.

oh yeah there is something i wan touch on. its rather fucked up. i wonder why am i always the nice guys to my friends yet they dun appreciate at all. fuck it all. yeah. jokin' it may be for u guys. but seriously it aint a joke to me at all. blame it on me to be stucked for another 1 1/2 year or so. indeed you guys are my good frenz now. thats why i even bothered to copy and take notes for you guys when u all skip lectures, sleep in lectures or bloody playing arnd in lectures. you guys asked me copy for you guys how many times have i rejected? none. did i even make a effort to copy it for u guys when u all dinda ask me? YES i fucking did. but what happened today? tink its a funnie and nice joke huh? its good enuff for you guys not to even touch my paper. i expected no one will bother to help me either. its always me being the good guy for you all, and yes, take me for granted. _|_tards. i'm pissed. leave my paper alone i'm glad enuff. fucking scribble rubbish over my paper. knnbccb.

i'm going to be fucking rude now. dun bloody ask me do anything for you guys anymore. since i'm not appreciated in anyway, to hell with me willingness. i'm a saint aye? need me that time please me lyk i'm god. no need me jiu say those fucking stuff. "FUCKER, HURRY UP", "WHO CARES ABOUT YOU", "YOU MORON". yeah yeah. jokes to you all, impact on the friendship on me.

i wont be a saint anymore helping u guys do things anymore. dun even ask me help u buy this and that. fucking buy ur own things now. pay for urs too please. neither will i ask u help me buy. i'll do it myself if i have to. the most i aint buying. yes i'm petty. so? you guys make me do this. i hate being mr nice. helping out all my friends when they in need. but god, fucking tell me how many helped me back when i need help? KNNBCCB! thinking back really is none. ask help all say busy or fucking give me a link and ask me read myself. while i'll go to all extend finding the correct para, explain when in doubt even if i'm busy lyk freak. at least i'll apologise when i really cant afford time. FUCK SHIT LA! I'M FREAKING PISSED THINKING OF ALL THESE NOW!

grrr. sorry it turned out to be a fierce post. but i cant hold it anymore. everyone has their problems. my frenz have at least me to turn to. while i have none who will sit down and spend time talking and helping me out de. all short and 'dai guo' replies. zzzz

nights. aint having much mood now. lucky i found a video that makes me nod my head to it and make me forget a little for that short 3+ minutes.

you can view it by clicking here. i'm off fuckers. zzz. mood changed to pissed. zzz..

See it ~~thru~~ ma eyes.. 3:25 AM
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Wednesday, July 19, 2006

mood: relaxed but kinda hurt
song: Gonna Give It To Ya - DMX

ok. i've updated my secret blog. so you can make you way by clicking here. tada! enjoy please. its kinda racist so its put there. hahas. sorry guys. but if you want to know and you've not allowed the password there are 3 ways.

1) crack the password by urself which is easy for IT students
2) ask ppl copy the post for you
3) beg me for it. xD

ok enuff nonsense. jiali called me juz now to talk. but i know i'm boring. hahas. tried to get it going back. tada, lex is boring la! LOLS! hmm. oh well. nth much. pon tang french today. too lazy to go. feel tt its kinda no use liddat. >< hahas. tink i'll fail this cds sia. =x

anyway, really nth much nowadays. kinda felt lonely thats all. but i'm feeling much better thanks to the confort of ma peeps. oh ya! my friendster keep kana unknown ppl go in. den anyhow send msg, anyhow delete my friend. ccb. zzz. bo liao kia sia. zzz.

dunno wads wrong. hack will so happy mehs. kaos..

ah forget it. anyway, was reading my past testimonials and it almost brought me to tears. those memories i used to have. hais.. got time i read my first acc de. =) gosh. all my meiis back in sec school. those real good frenz i hang out with. those testimonials really brings back so much memories. i really wanna catch up with everybodae back in sec school. but i well supposed most all forget it or too busy and stuff. wonder hu have time now. oh well... ><

oh ya. my mood is a little hurt. but y ne? oh well. she said

we're not close anyway. who cares?

seriously, its kinda hurting to hear this from you. at the straight moment i felt that sudden knife that stabbed into my heart. even as a friendship. cant we at least have a nice friendship? hais. guess you'll nv know how hurt that line could be. ><

oh well.. nth much either. knnth, pls cheer up. =) and i'm feeling real tired recently. zzz. tatas. ate beef almost everyday now. hahas. =P once again, the link to your 5 minutes lameness is here.

ja, oyasumi..

See it ~~thru~~ ma eyes.. 1:27 AM
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Monday, July 17, 2006

mood: lonely ^^
song: Karma - Alicia Keys

wad is the defination of love? i guess there's nth to describe it. time has passed so fast that i cant even catch a breather. i'm 18 this year and i can still remember the days when i was in sec one. got into a fight and stuff. kana punch. den tt time still noob nv retaliate. remember sec 3 got into another fight outside. he said he i stared. he wanted to give me a punch but i dodged in time i punched him back. i almost took the nearby glass bottle and smashed him on his head. but my frenz pulled me back and they ran away.

those were the times. but look at me now. i guess i've grown in sucha small period of time. had my temper tamed and stuff. oh well, i guess when you grow in age u'll take things lighter.

had nth much out of a sunday. went to dbg to had some stress released. oh well. there's this kinda incident. nth much to say. some girl's fren (guy) came and said. hello. can give me ur no. my fren want to know you.

its been quite some times since i last got that. last time quite some few when i was in bugis and stuff. oh well. to me, i dun mind this kinda things so gave it. chatted awhile den nth le. she said i look cute and erh look cool when play drums? i was lyk. NOOOO. i am not cute. i am mature. xD i tink i look too cool le. =x as wad suet say. lyk too serious tt type. =x woops. hahas.

had some fun with DM. did some nice things. hazard newspaper. =) i tink i can constant FC this song le. ^^ i cant upload pics to comp for now as i juz reformatted and dunno how to sync my phone to comp. zzz. passed naoki on the 2nd try. ^^ tml's CMSK3 test i tink GG le. >< oh well. see how bahs. maybe later i read thru a little. i'm hungry nowadays. i tend to eat alot. beef. >< gosh. i tink that's the price i muz pay to grow fat. =x hahas. i want to grow fat la. i tink i'm lyk a hanger or smth. >< zzzz

ya nth much. time to find smth to eat. *looks at the big packet of twistie's joanne gave me* gosh... i tink i shoulda eat that now. tink i go cook noodles or wad. >< hahas. ja ne mina san~ oyasumi. ^^ oh ya. i felt much better le. i guess being alone for awhile does help. but somehow i still miss the times we chatted. oh well. should wasure all these unhappy mono! O.O

i really hope ya doing fine. may god bless. =)

See it ~~thru~~ ma eyes.. 2:23 AM
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Sunday, July 16, 2006

mood: drastically sad
song: Pu Tong Peng You - David Tao

ok. i've made my old blog active again. its password protected. only ppl i want to let them see can see. it will be my venting of anger on ppl or my stupid love whinings. i shall make this blog nice.

oh well. the links is at the secrets of my heart there. a last updated will be shown there to tell u guys when was it last updated.

today was ok. many ppl at ps. alot xmm. zzzz. ah lians. other than tt nth much le. and after quite some time i got to see traces again! she's looking great as usual. oh well. hahas. great as in alive and kicking. had fun with guilty gear with frenz. gosh. i'm juz drowning myself. fuck it. ><

and that supid mr S. i tink after that stupid incident, he got himself a new girl or smth. saw him hands arnd a girl (ah lian kind) on the neck there. lyk hugging but its sideways. thats super EX. bth this kind of guys. but it aint my problem anymore. as long u dun hurt my fren i'm cool with it. and i still cant diminish that tot inside me. teach me how. hais... more will explain on my secret blog. =x

i really have no mood for anything. even benz chalet i dun feel lyk going. even a good DM game doesnt make me rejoice lyk mad. even seeing xmm which i used to lyk doesnt make me really go gaga. even talking DMGF with frenz make me no mood. wad is wrong with me? gosh! i wish i could have done smth. T.T

stay happy with him k? if u have problems, please find me the first thing. i'll still be here all ready to let u vent ur anger and shu ku if u ever need it. remember, lex rocks. =) hope we can be closer friends. even closer than how we are now. but no matter wad, dun regret and be happy k? sincerly, its from my heart. i dun blame you or wad. its ur decision, but i will want to be there whenever you need someone. =)

See it ~~thru~~ ma eyes.. 1:41 AM
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Saturday, July 15, 2006

mood: hais =(
song: Little Prayer - Asako Toki

yest went dbg. was all alone so went walking arnd. fridays orchard is so crowded. couples here and there. big grps of frenz outing and stuff. oh well.. anyway, went walking alone for awhile before heading back dbg again. oh well. tot of alot of stuff. >< oh ya btw, the last post back portion is deleted. so too bad. forget it. i tink i'm juz another whiny kid hu cant solve problems by himself. i too dependent on others le i tink. i muz learn to settle these kinda things for myself. the ppl arnd me wont be here for me everytime and stuff. learn to grow lex. learn to grow.

had a few games of DM and guilty gear. forget abt most things. oh well. guess lex really is on a bad patch. >< cant seems to get everything right. all my other fren's project is lyk so good yet mine is lyk. crap. seriously. oh well... ok dun say le. i did some things on fren so if u wan read on..

boy/girlfriends
its really nth much to say. its up the bond of this relationship. if its strong enuff, both partners will willing to sacrifice anything. even death. however, dying together with the other party is juz another stupid senseless act.

true brotherhood/sisterhood
one who will be there for their partner. no matter wad they wont miss out saying how are u everyday and care for each other. they can sense each other mood well and will not wait for the sad party to tell the other partner. the partner shld feel in in them and ask them without thinking. one will also nv turn away in any troubles they face. when they quarrel, they will listen to each other and not dun bother to listen.

best friends
they will be there for you in times of troubles. however when it involves big money and troubling them too much, they will tend to hesitate. however, they will try to help you as much as they can even moral supporting. they wont leave you but will try to find a nice reason to explain why they cannot help. they will also listen to your problems if you talk to them. usually they will only ask u when you express yourself as sad.

good friends
they will be there for you and help you when its within their abilities. they wont be stupid enough to go the limits for you. they will listen to you problems if you tell them. however if they are in no good mod or busy, they will tend to ignore or at the very least reply something like yes and give simple advices like jia you. when ya facing a big crisis, you'll be wondering, do i have such little frenz? this may be last grp of friends that will give you a present.

normal friends
these are groups of ppl who are with you everyday. like school mates. helping you out in schoolwork and stuff. however they will ignore you or quarrel with you over little small things like different opinions. when they are in a ditch like alone and no one to accompany them, they will tend to call you.

hi-bye friends
as the word says. its just i know you, you know me. hithxbye. nth else. simple and easy. they will only know you more when they grieve over your death.

enemies
everyone knows. this group fall under your blacklist. you wouldnt even care about them even if they die. whatever they do doesnt really bother you much. you'll find fault in them whenever there is a chance. however, if you two gets better and understand each other more, this may turn out to be the best friendship you may ever have. if not, you two will juz have cold wars and bad impression of each other

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tada! there you go. and off to DBG! i need to fa xie. hais. still have this saddening mood in me. T.T hais... i need to learn the citation for CMSK3 soon! monday test le. T.T

See it ~~thru~~ ma eyes.. 1:03 PM
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Friday, July 14, 2006

mood: sad. hurt. wadever you tink off
song: Wonderful - Everclear

alright sorry for the lack of update. was doing my projects and erh. being lazy. oh well. so here i am to blog again. life turned the other way round. suddenly i felt so sad when she said yes. hais..

i really envy couples now. esp tt knnth and suet jie. they make me so jealous and inferior of myself. they're so loving and stuff. honeymoon period once again. hais. yet me. cant even do things right. i've been living in a world deprived of bgr since young. never did mine work out fine. everynow and den when ppl dun treasure their relationship or treat the other sex lyk some yoyo i will feel disgusted. >< i'll put my post in dark for the moment. read if u want but dowan juz ignore. just some venting i want to say. ><

entry is deleted. =x

alright done. i now really wanna hope. hope that miracles i believed for 18 yrs really do come true. i hope when ya done with ya busy, you could take a little look at me. and open up. hais... i really really have not much mood for now. putting on a smile can last me thru the day. but will it last forever? its for my heart to find. i'll be waiting. joy.. ='(

ps: everything i said on my last post is frm wad i saw and feel. totally nth to do with anyone or anything. i'm juz farting everything out. bah~

and back to square one, waiting once again for her to give me a chance.

See it ~~thru~~ ma eyes.. 2:45 AM
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Monday, July 10, 2006

mood: missing & wondering
song: The Least 333 Seconds - Hirofumi Sasaki

ok first off. i will post smth. but it will appear in my other blog de things. so.. yeah. here u wont be able to see it. read it at your own risk by pressing here. it contains f*cked up contents aint suitable for ppl hu aint interested in such stuff. be warned that is.

and now i'm cool with that. moving on nth much oso. lulu~ need to chiong my INMM by this fri. >< argh. idiot. hahas! gosh. someone wake me up la. i seriously need to wake up. why am i thinking of such things now. why must you appear in my mind everytime? why do i tink of you every now and den. >< crap! ><

hais. now u said you aren't free on ur bday le. hais.. how sad i am. really. gosh... but i hope at least can pass you the belated. hmm. someone. unbreak me? i need to wake up. you wont be mine. you will never be. but why am i hesitating to give up? why cant i give up when i need to? tell me. i really frm lyk think become love le. hais. you tend to avoid the topic too.

ah.... i dowan be emo now. juz hope i can feel wad ya feeling. pls pls pls pls! someone tell me. if its you personally. i will be more happy. negative or positive. its ok. i just wanna know. you made me forget the past. i will hold on for now. >< i want it to be forever. but can i know if u will give me sucha chance?

LEX STOP IT LA! ya juz still a baby whining here and there. it aint helping anything la! argh. ok. i shall not say anything more. back to INMM. again if you would like to see the post. Simply click here. BE WARNED!

See it ~~thru~~ ma eyes.. 9:53 PM
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Sunday, July 09, 2006

mood: pondering
song: It Feels So Good - Sonique

alright. nth much this time. went far east today with suet and sf. went to shop for some of my accessories. got 2 though. a male sign thing and a crucifix. xD happy. but i cant a nice funky tie! anyone knows where i can get one? best is single colour and stuff. xD

anyway, today went to my cousin's wedding dinner. hmm. went there 1 dish late. when i arrived guess wad? xD shark's fin served! xD i ate all down. damm! 5 star hotel's food is really nice. xD oh ya! i lost my DM card! T.T oh well. i've started another one though. 900+ le. its kinda fast. wahahas! haven touch my non-stop too. oh ya. ren shi 2 more new arcade peeps there. cos we always see each other so yup. we knew. one i not wrong is called fiona? another is joanne or joanna. >< gosh. poor memory. hahas! she's cute! LOLS! i lyk girls with 'that type' of teeth shape. xD vampire teeth? no no. i tink is baby. ahh.. wads that called. >< hahas!

anyway, flash assignment is due in 5 days time! damm! how! ahhh! i got to start! >< oh well. i'll try my best. xD lex take it slowly. =))

anyway, aint feel lyk bloggin le. hais. kinda confused and down. she aint replying le. T.T wonder wads wrong. maybe thats a signal to me? guess not fated afterall.. but i feel lyk waiting. for that miracle. yet y muz u be that cold? hais..

DID YOU KNOW?

when storing a CD, people always tend to protect the shiny side of the disc. when there's a scratch, they will tink its spoiled. BUT! in true fact, the disc is spoiled when the front side is scratched! that's actually the part where data is stored! hope you guys knew something new. ^^

till den. lex signs off. =) go italy! go erh... i dun lyk germany. but i dun lyk portugal more. so go germany! =x ciao~

See it ~~thru~~ ma eyes.. 2:08 AM
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Friday, July 07, 2006

mood: happy for her. =)
song: Chun Zhen - MayDay

wooooooooOOOOOOOOO! i went shopping today! lyk finally! after 5 months since CNY! hahas! was happy la! and its with nic bro! how often we shop together. =P bought myself 3 shirts, a belt and a jeans! all for 80 bucks liddat! actually wanna by some accessories but felt poor. and guess wad! mum is paying! woooooooo~ hahas! i feel so good. the shirts i bought kinda diff frm the past le. i tink my style changed once again. hahas.

went bugis, far east and cine to buy my things. lex feels satisfied. xD wanna get more things! but muz save. someone's bday coming up and my budget is lyk 60-80? o.O auntie! when are we meeting up! hahas! =P anyway.. had kinda a nice time today. walked arnd. saw lotsa nice and style clothes. budden when see the tag.. my god.. -_-"

nth much either. i wan a cupboard filled clothes and a drawer of accessories! >< now i noe y nic quit DMGF for shopping. shopping really does make one lighter! xD i feel so shuang la. though my $$ is not lyk those who throws 500 each time they shop tt kind. but for lex to go shopping is.. WOOO~ =x ok i mad. chiro said she go queensway. hahas. and she say she spend 150! >< if i have 150.... waa.. i would have bought that accessory i saw. its damm nice la. stylish too. gosh.. how i love sg sales. xD

today no questions. no nth. juz hmmm. alright a little pic i drew on adobe. hahas. need to do my project! and i'm feeling headache! tml gym. hope i survive. =P INMM!

to that girl. =)

See it ~~thru~~ ma eyes.. 1:10 AM
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Thursday, July 06, 2006

mood: worrying
song: Asu no Egao no Tame ni

ok.. nth much to say either. hmm. got back DBSY. was kinda disappointed by it. hais. juz passed wtih 25/50. though 1/2 the class failed. tts wad my tcher said. i expected a grade C or higher. hais. looks lyk DBSY stuff aint suited for me. oh well. i muz study harder to be all rounded lyk teck hong. >< hahahahas!

yay! i tink i wan go shopping! i feel rich! saving up $$ here and there. but i still got a person's present to buy. hope can successfully song dao. >< LOLS! =P anyway.. ya.. really nth much le lahs. i'll give a short info lyk yesterday. xD

---------- To Joy ----------

joy ah. hope ya reading my blog k? i really wanna help u out. i know u do keep things to urself and stuff. but seeing you in such a down state really makes me kinda feel uncomfortable and stuff. dun ask me why. i juz care lyk that. even not for likings but to my normal friends too. but hey, ya 1 of the few peeps that i send that xxx, a blah blah msg to! i really wanna help and i hope u give me a chance too. yeah we might not be close but.. i'm trying my best too. ya stressed out and stuff thats understandable. but please girl, do take care too. i sound lyk ah ma nagging all the way. budden oh well. lex cares. =))

when girl's say their fine, they are not. u said you are. somehow i tink tt line works for your case. give me 1 chance k? i dun need much time. juz hope can help u thru this time real nice.

oh ya. if really u dowan, (><) den maybe something can cheer u up? u care or dun care, i'm getting ya a prezzie! happy? =P hope so. oh well. tink of more happy things can le. hee..

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Q: why is the cover of cup/bowl noodles that colour?

A: its silver. silver reflects heat well. it will thus make a convection results when cooking ur noodles. =)

i would love for eternity without change of heart, but for how long? Rather i die while my love is true - Gatekeepers

i love this line. its nice... =)) but i wont die. i'll continuing loving. lyk duh~ if i can wait for 5 yrs for a girl b4. why cant i have that again? hmmm... nites guys. tata!

See it ~~thru~~ ma eyes.. 12:40 AM
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Tuesday, July 04, 2006

mood: sleepy but ok. =x
song: Simple Plan - Don't Wanna Think About You

ok. today stayed at home again. gosh.. last night was tough. fever went all up again. hais.. hope tonight wont. felt better in the afternoon cept for my tummy still hurts. >< bah~ went to school in the afternoon to hand in my project and stuff. >< waste of my time. hahas. stayed home idled away. i will start my inmm once i felt better! wee~

anyway, really nth much to say so i'll post some interesting fact. xD

Q: why do ppl use the back of their hands to touch hot/cold things rather dan their palms? answer right below..

yeah. chiro sounded sad and sick. so went to asked her. oh well. hope to talked to her tml. >< she sounded real bad. hmm. wonder wad happened. anyway, knew my results and i'm quite satisfied..

INMM - 45/60 = B+
if i do well for my project may push up to A! ^^

STMD - 38/50 = B+
my project was well done with my grp members. yep. shld go up to an A! ^^

tml giving back DBSY and SWEN le. hope i get at least a B. need to push this sem to 2.7 first. den final i get < 3.0 hahas! lex, u can do it! =) oh well. i need some sleep. nights guys. hope i'm ready to go school tml. i missed school. >< so as promised the answer is below. take care guys!

AND CHIRO! PLS STAY HAPPY LA! ANYTHING TELL ME CAN LE. =)) LEX HEARS EVERYONE'S PROBLEMS DE. ^^ <3

A: scientific proven, humans hands natural reaction is curling up. thats why if u touch a hot kettle when the back of your hand, when your hands react, it will pull away frm it. if you touch with your palms, you will tend to curl and grab the kettle!

hope you guys learned something more. =) tatas!

See it ~~thru~~ ma eyes.. 11:39 PM
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ok i was bored so here comes... dowan read juz scroll down after this. xD

Depression Test

[x] You listen to metal.
[x] You wear mainly black.
[ ] You have had 10 or more fights with
your parents/guardians
[ ] You own a pair of chained pants.
[ ] You've cried yourself to sleep.
[x] You do or used to think about suicide.
[x] You've screamed so loud at the top of
your lungs your throat hurt.
TOTAL = 4

[x] You did or still do constantly worry
what other people think
[ ] You're a transvestite
[x] You own at least one metal CD
[ ] You buy clothes from hot topic
[x] You'd rather be someone else
[ ] You wear black eyeliner
[x] sometimes even with your friends
you're quiet and sad
[ ] You cry every day
[ ] You cry every week
[ ] You'd never be seen in pink
[ ] You take/used to take drugs.
[ ] You smoke/Used to...
TOTAL = 4

[ ] Right this second you want to die
[ ] Your walls are black
[ ] You've attempted to starve yourself
[ ] You've dyed your hair black
[ ] You've dyed your arm hair
[ ] Your computer is full of gothic symbols
[ ] You sometimes feel like the whole
world is against you
[x] You stay up late
[ ] your family couldn't care less about
you.
[x] You only leave your room to pee and
eat.
[x] You drink/used to drink alcohol.
TOTAL = 2

[ ] You wear long sleeves in the summer
[x] You get called emo/scene
[ ] At least once a month you shrivel up
and cry
[ ] You wear spikes
[ ] You wear chains
[ ] You wear band Tees
[ ] You own merchandise of The Used
[ ] You own a regular metal CD
[x] Your friendster/myspace is black
TOTAL = 2

[ ] You hate your siblings
[ ] You could care less about your looks
[ ] You want to be skinnier
[ ] Your hair is currently black
[ ] You own arm cuffs
[ ] You pray to the devil
[x] You own at least 2 shirts with sayings
[ ] You like the taste of blood
[x] You welcome the sight of blood
TOTAL = 2

GRAND TOTAL = 14

Now take that number, multiply it by 2
and you are 28% depressed!

ok.. TP's elections are here and i got in mind hu to vote already. hmm. gosh. i tink i've somewhat recovered frm my illness cept a little giddyness? hahas. and she was online in the night. chatted with her awhile. really lighten up my mood though. >< gosh. 1 minute i said i wouldnt wanna disturb her more cos i tink i'm irritating, the next moment she talked to me, hell so much i wanted the time to stop. hais.. she had to go at 12 for hmwork. so oh well. sigh... anyway, stupid cmsk tcher wanted a MC which has unfit for submission on it otherwise i get 0. zzz... stupid. =x

yeah. talking abt elections here is best quote i've seen so far. xD by YiLing!
"Votes are juz like pixels, the more the better" *a picture of her censored body is shown on top*

hahas! get wad she means?! its the best i've seen so far! bu kui is my FA. hahas! jia you! ^^ ok i almost forget to mention.. happy bday virus. =) erh anymore? oh ya i want to buy new things! shopping! but no one... hais. she wouldn't reply to that question though. >< oh well.. guess i'll try lonely shopping. =)) nights guys. earlier school tml. wan an le. and my stomach is acting up again. >< zzzz

See it ~~thru~~ ma eyes.. 12:23 AM
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Monday, July 03, 2006

mood: missing
song: Ba Wo Hui Lai Le - Jay Chou

hey guys. sorry for the lack of update. oh well. this sickness took over the weekends. stayed at home on sun feeling all so weak. i've been lying on my bloody bed for the past 1 day le. zzzzzz. imagine sleeping 18-19 hrs a day. argh. ><

Your True Love Is a Leo

Why you'll love a Leo:

A Leo has a presence and power that you find intoxicating.
Sensual and playful, you'll be thrilled to have your Leo pick you as a playmate!

Why a Leo will love you:

You're willing to let your Leo be the center of attention (both at home and in public)
And you're able to tiptoe around your lion - and put up with the occasional fit.

What Sign Is Your True Love?

coincidence or wad? oh well. how i wish its not. T.T oh well. continuing.. many things swerved thru my head during my sickness. cant move and stuff. whole body really felt so weak. hit 39.1 degrees last night. almost unbearable. heavy heavy headache. feeling hot and cold at times. thanks dad, mum and sis for taking care of me. seriously, i have none replying me back when i msged cept christiie meii. but she wants me put pics on friendster! =x hahas. and i did. as promised. =D oh well. seriously, i hate being sick at times. though every 6 months pattern i will get real sick.. but during this time will i noe hu truely cares.

haa. yet the one i hoped who will care did not. i tink i did too much. as in over irritant. guess i'll stay quiet for sometime. my last msg will be if ya free on thurs or fri to go shopping not. i wont expect much anymore though. to a scorpio it seems lyk i'm missing a really big thing out. something that can finish me off.

lyk wad my fren once said. you do so much if the person doesnt reactm means ya getting nowhere. if that person really wants thing to work out, he/she will give u an answer no matter wad. good or bad. i guess as times goes, its kinda true.. oh well. i still wont want to give up any hope i have for you. even if you found someone. i will still want to wait for you. guess lex is juz being stupid all over again.. but hey, i will still smile.. if u are ever reading this, i hope you'll understand. i'll wait for your reply if u want to go out and shop together still. even u make me wait for months. =)

alrights. all these drain too much of my energy le. need some rest. will update once i get more strength back. =) ja ne..

they said leo and scorpio cant work out. i'll believe my way. i'll wait and show that sincerity can make miracles happen. lex really misses u much. will u noe? v.v

See it ~~thru~~ ma eyes.. 11:04 AM
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